The dream opened up on a field shrouded in fog, with shells falling all around. Felix was running with his gun towards the enemy line, dodging bullets while firing at the Germans. Suddenly he heard a shell whistling through the air over his head, which landed behind Felix, and he turned towards the noise in terror. Up until that moment the dream mirrored the real life experience he had at the River Marne, but in the dream, he turned to the horrifying vision of Izzy in Elbert’s place as the one who was blown up.
Felix fell out of his bed in his sleep, reaching out to catch the image of Izzy which was playing in his mind, and he kept screaming the same terror filled word – "NO!!!!!" The noise rousted the entire family from their beds to see what was wrong, with Alec and Janet first to reach Felix’s room. They opened the door to the sight of their son caught in the blankets from his bed, struggling on the floor with arms reached out in desperation, still screaming at something they could not see.
By that time Felix’s eyes were wide open but unseeing, and in his dream he had just reached the gravely wounded Izzy and moved to take her in his arms. But it was his father whose body he grabbed, and whose face he stared at while crying, "Please don’t die! I need you, please don’t leave me!!!"
"Felix!!! Felix, wake up! It’s a dream, wake up!" called Alec as he shook his son. Janet quickly lit a lamp and knelt down to try to free Felix’s shaking body from the blankets. Alec turned to Cecily and ordered her to take Daniel from the room and to shut the door behind her. Daniel, who was still clutching Felix’s army cap, started wailing in fright as he saw his brother thrashing about on the floor. It took all of Cecily’s effort to pull him away.
Once Janet removed the blankets she helped Alec wrestle Felix to the floor and held him there until he broke free of the nightmare. It was then that she glanced at the side of his bed and saw the empty flask lying on the floor.
With tears in his eyes which were wide with confusion, Felix stuttered, "Where’s Izzy? She was right here!" As Janet held Felix’s throbbing head, he finally pieced together that Izzy was just in his dream, and he began to cry with relief. To his parents he sobbed, "That stupid dream, it’s so real to me and no matter what I do I can’t save Izzy, just like I couldn’t save Elbert!"
Alec helped Felix back onto his bed and Janet put his robe over his shoulders, and Felix finally managed to quiet down. Alec looked at his wife over Felix’s head and they shared a look of utter helplessness at not being able to help their child. Janet started, "Felix, tell us what we can do to help you get past this. We just don’t know what to do for you."
Felix replied in frustration, "I don’t know, Mother. I thought things would be better once I got home and it isn’t. I feel like such a failure because I couldn’t save Elbert, and having to look his parents in the eye felt worse than the shrapnel tearing my leg open."
Close this window to return to the index