Peter: Daisy! Boy am I glad to see you!
Daisy: Uh...Peter? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were actually wringing your hands; what's the matter?
Peter: You know, I really don't think this was such a good idea; you should try to play it safe...
Daisy: Play it SAFE??? Pete, do you realize what's happening here? Our ratings have SKYrocketed! Do you know how many phone calls, faxes, and e-mails we've been getting every day? We're a HIT! They've given me the executive power to deal directly with the agency and book all our guests for the rest of the season! I'm a tough negotiator too; I have guests lined up that you wouldn't be able to find anywhere else!
Peter: There's a reason for that.
Daisy: Oh, nonsense! I'm telling you, there's nothing to worry about! All items of value or easy portability have been secured, and our personal things are safe in this room. You know we just installed a new lock on the door.
Peter: I know, I know, but....I still don't like it.
Daisy: Oh Pete, you worry too much! I've taken every precaution; what could possibly go wrong?
Peter (gloomily): You always say that, and then something always DOES go wrong.
Daisy (bracingly): Come now, Pete; faint hearts never won a good interview. Exert a little faith, won't you? Besides, I know how to handle children.
Peter: That's no child!! I'm telling you, she's a demon! She's possessed!
Daisy: Now Pete; you've been watching those horror films again. Everything is going to be just fine. If it makes you feel any better, I'll have security send up an extra guard. We'll post one at each door, and thus prevent our light-fingered little customer from giving us the slip; okay? Okay; I'm going to get ready now. And Pete, for the sake of company morale, please, TRY not to let your attitude rub off on the rest of the staff.
(Daisy leaves the room.)
Peter (to himself): I keep telling them, play it safe, but nobody listens....
(Air time.)
Daisy: Good morning ladies and gentlemen! Welcome once again to our studio. Our guest this morning, who arrived rather precipitously escorted by two of our security people, is none other than one of Avonlea's most memorable visitors, Jo Pitts. Jo, I'm pleased to have you in the studio here today.
JP: No you ain't, so shut your yap.
(A beat.)
Daisy: Jo, I have no intention of... 'shutting my yap', as you put it, because this is an interview, and I will be asking you questions. Now take your finger out of your nose and pay attention. You've lived on the street for a long time, and in fact, were acquainted with Gus long before he first arrived in Avonlea.
JP: Yah, I seen Gus around sometimes, before he took up with sailin'.
Daisy: I understand that Gus saved your hide on a couple of occasions, and kept you from getting thrown into the slammer.
JP: So?
Daisy: SO?? Didn't you ever express any gratitude to him for helping you like that?
JP: Aw, stow it! You all think Gus is so great, don't'cha? He's just everybody's big hero! I told him not to stick his neck out fer me; I told him where he COULD stick it! He ain't no saint, like you ladies want him to be. He lived on the streets too, and he did the same as the rest of us. I got some stories about ol' Gus that'll make you bawl like a baby!
Daisy (firmly): I'm sure you do, Jo, but we don't want to hear them. I don't like the idea of going into somebody's house and poking around in their closets without their permission.
JP: I do.
Daisy: Well, I DON'T. Let's leave the past where it belongs, and move on. Now I find it really interesting that Gus was the only one to... (She breaks off.) Jo! Don't wipe your nose on your sleeve!
JP: Want me to wipe it on yours?
Daisy: NO!! (She winces.) Here, Jo, take this handkerchief and USE it! Now, as I was saying, Gus was the only one who could tell you and Sara apart.
JP: Yah, Gus learned to spell out people pretty good; that's what happens when you live on the street.
Daisy: You know, you're an interesting character, Jo; I'm surprised you didn't turn up again. Didn't you want to be on the show anymore?
JP: Naw; too much bellyachin' and rules. 'Sides, Sullivan didn't want me to come back. (She makes a rude noise.)
Daisy (grimly): I can see why. Seems to me you owe a lot of people an apology, including Gus. He stood up for you again, you know, when you were running away from Hetty King, with her valuables.
JP: Don't even talk to me about that old bat! You know what you can do? You can take that ol' Halloween witch and send her on a broom straight to--
Daisy: HALIFAX!!
JP (considering): Maybe....maybe that's not such a bad idea. (She grins.) Yah, I got a few places I could show her. Here... (holding out the handkerchief) Here's your snot-rag.
Daisy (eyeing it distastefully): Uh....keep it, Jo, why don't you.
JP: Suit yourself. Must be nice to have a whole drawerful of 'em.
Daisy: Let's stick to the subject, shall we, and find out just why Gus had a soft spot in his heart for you.
JP: How should I know? He always was a sucker for somebody in trouble, 'specially girls and such. He was always nice to the ladies, even the ones that was turnin' the wrong sheets.
Daisy (blushing): Yes, Jo, I...get the picture. Now, I wanted to ask about your... (She becomes horrified.) JO PITTS!!! What ARE you doing???!!
JP (calmly): My bum itches. When you got an itch, you gotta scratch.
Daisy (aside): I'LL scratch you, you little... (She decides to try a different approach.) Jo, dear, you look....VERY uncomfortable, and that sweater you're wearing seems kind of...bulky. Don't you want to....
JP (vehemently): You just shut your yob about my sweater! I ain't got good clothes like you, Miss Fancy Drawers!
Daisy (with growing suspicion): I'm not concerned about your clothes, Jo Pitts; I'm concerned about what you've got underneath 'em. Stand up.
JP: Go take a flyin' leap. I ain't done nothin.
Daisy (through gritted teeth): I said S-T-A-N-D U-P!! You've got something underneath that sweater and you're going to let me see what it is.
JP (making a rude gesture): Gotta catch me first, you puny little milk-toast! (Tauntingly...) Betcha couldn't even catch yourself a feller with his drawers down!
Daisy (seeing red!): THAT'S IT!!! NO MORE NICE GIRL! ATTAAAAAAAAACK!!!
(Daisy charges Jo Pitts, and tackles her to the ground; a melee ensues. Both security guards and Peter enter the fracas, and finally separate the two. During the struggle, a bracelet, a small portrait, and a new pair of shoes fall to the ground.)
Daisy: My shoes! My bracelet! My father's picture with the nice guilt frame! Jo Pitts, if I had my... (She suddenly realizes what had just happened.) Ladies and gentlemen, my sincerest apologies. Our time is up, and our guest is even now being whisked away from the studio.
JP: No I ain't.
Daisy (hissing): Shut up! (Louder...) I'd like to thank you once again for joining us today, and express my gratitude for your continuing support. We'll take a short commercial break, followed by our regularly scheduled programming.
(Off the air.)
Daisy (getting wearily to her feet): Thanks guys, for coming so quickly. (Pointedly, to Jo) Jo, I think it's time you were leaving now, don't you?
JP: Tell your stooges to let go a me; I can walk outta here by myself.
Daisy: Let her go, guys, but....stay by the door until she leaves. Goodbye Jo. It's been an experience.
JP: Whatever. Say, Daisy, for somebody as puny as you, you tackle pretty good. How'd you learn to take somebody down like that?
(A beat, then...)
Daisy (smiling slowly): I have three children.
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