Daisy (entering the studio): Morning Pete1, how's everything going?
Pete (a bit nervously): Well, everything's....alright, I guess...
Daisy: You don't sound too sure. What's the matter?
Pete: Well, it's just...it's your guest today. He's....are you sure you'll be okay with him?
Daisy: You know I've taken extra precautions, and we went over what to do if there's an emergency. I told the security people already. He's coming with an escort, you know, so I don't anticipate any real....trouble.
Pete: Just the same, I'll breathe a lot easier when he's gone.
Daisy: I know, I know. I'll talk to you later, Pete. I need to go over my notes and get ready...
(Later, on the air...)
Daisy: Good morning; welcome back to the studio, friends! We have an unusual situation today; my guest has been given special permission to appear on the air with me. I'd like to thank the Midvale Regional Correctional Facility for releasing our guest, and providing secure transportation for him to our studio. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Abraham Pike. Mr. Pike, allow me to extend a...wary welcome to you this morning; I appreciate your being here.
AP (ingratiating): Ahhh, so you appreciate Abe Pike, do ye? It's not many that do, m'girl.
Daisy: I appreciate your being in the studio, Mr. Pike; my appreciation does not extend to your person. Now, I'd like to discuss your return to Avonlea; I understand you were incarcerated at that time as well, but you managed to escape.
AP: Aye, them fool guards was busy one mornin', and I had me chance. Knocked one o'er and got outta there right quick-like. Cap'n Crane, he got me over to Avonlea on that ship, so's I could see me boy.
Daisy (drily): What a touching reunion that was.
AP: That poor lad, pinin' away fer his pap! Wasn't it high time old Abe Pike returned to fetch the lad and teach 'im 'ow to live the 'igh life?
Daisy: You're dropping "h's" right & left, Mr. Pike, faster than Eliza Doolittle. Speaking of Eliza, Mr. Pike, I'd like to touch, for a moment, on yours. You talk of Gus "pining for his pap". "Pap" indeed! You cruelly mistreated Mrs. Pike for many a year, and when she...well, "perished"2, for something died inside her, you know. You took the boy to the orphanage and left him there because you couldn't be bothered to take care of your own flesh and blood3. A fine patriarchal example you set, I must say!
AP (angrily): Bah! You pious bloody do-gooders! Always jumpin' after Abe Pike fer one reason or t'other! I come back fer the boy, jest like I promised his ma!
Daisy: I believe it was Captain Crane, sir, that promised Eliza he would look after Gus. You only came because you needed his sharp wits and survival skills to help you stay on the run and avoid getting captured.
AP: And so he should! A boy should always be willin' t' help his pa!
Daisy: Well, the knife cuts both ways, Mr. Pike. Speaking of which, I trust you are...unarmed. We have metal detectors nowadays.
AP: Aye; bloody thing screeched at me, soon as I set foot in 'ere. Them guards was all o'er me like vultures.
Daisy: Quite. Now, you really shook up the peaceful little town of Avonlea while camped there. Stealing Janet King's wedding ring...
AP (interrupting): Aye, now there was a fine piece of gold, that ring. Could 'ave gotten me near 'alf way to the Yukon.
Daisy: I suppose it could have, but fortunately, you never got the chance. I think it particularly despicable, Mr. Pike, that you pulled the woollen baby blanket over Gus's eyes by telling him that ring was his mother's.
AP: Told 'ee before, the boy's duty was to 'is pa. But the poor lad couldn't see that.
Daisy: Actually, I think he was very wise to steer clear of you. Now, my favorite scene in this story was the meeting with Abner Jeffries, when the good citizens of Avonlea became rather carried away with their fears of rum-runners and escaped convicts. Mrs. Potts even said they knocked Janet down and chopped off her finger, with, presumably, the ring on it! They approached the lighthouse like the villagers seeking Frankenstein....
AP (roaring): Bloody fools! The lot o'them! I'd've gotten what was mine and left without a trace an' it weren't fer them interferin' wimmin! The menfolks was too 'enpecked to put their wives in their proper places, lettin' 'em run around like chickens outta the coop!
Daisy (dripping with sarcasm): It's so nice to see a man who knows how to deal with women.
AP: Aye, Abe Pike knows a thing 'er two about the fair sex! They always did come swarmin' about me like magpies....
Daisy: I hate to interrupt your fond reminiscence, but our time is getting short. I'd like to refer you to a conversation you had with Captain Crane, in which you told him that....Mr. Pike, you seem to be staring rather...avidly at me. Is there something I can do for you?
AP (chuckling): Aye, there's somethin' you can do fer me, lass. Prison's a lonely sorta place, no soft voices er faces to give a man somethin' to dream about at night.... (He reaches out.) How would ye like to come sit a little closer to old Abe Pike?
Daisy (tersely): How would you like a poke in the eye?
AP (roaring with laughter): A poke in the eye, is it? Ahh, now that's rich, it is! The lass has spirit, doesn't she? I like's 'em with a bit o' spirit, makes things more lively like!
Daisy: Alright, Mr. Pike, I'm warning you. If you don't stop that right now, I'll have you escorted out of here.
AP (threatening): Escorted out, is it? I wouldn't try it if I were you, missie! (He pulls out a poignard4 from his boot, moving toward Daisy.) They picked me o'er pretty well, yer guards, but I always keeps a souvenir er two handy!
Daisy: Peter! PEEEETER!
Pete (running in): I saw it all, Daisy! I called security; they're on their way up!
AP: Oh no ye don't! Ye don't get Abe Pike that easy! The devil take the lot o' ye!
(Abe rushes out through the back door, just as security personnel arrive.)
Daisy: Well, don't just stand there, GO AFTER HIM!!!
(The men exit after Abe. Daisy sinks back into her chair.)
Daisy: Our interview is at an end. Thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen, and be sure to tune in same time next week, for my next guest--a better behaved one, I assure you!
(Off the air...)
Pete: Say Daisy, you look a little....shook up. Is there something I can get you?
Daisy: Thanks Pete; I could use some advil.
Pete: How many would you like? One or two?
Daisy (wearily): I'll take a dozen...
* * * * *
You'll be happy to know that Abraham Pike was apprehended a couple of blocks away from the studio, and swiftly transported back to the penitentiary, where he has had an additional two years added on to his original sentence. (Don't ask me how he got there in the first place; I don't know the stories, I just tell 'em.)
1 Peter helps me out with general things at the studio--setting things up for the weekly interview, retrieving data, compiling notes, making phone calls, confirming our guests, etc. He's basically my right-hand man, a....personal assistant. (You thought I was going to say hired hand, didn't you?) Peter will continue to appear from now on; he came into the studio to help me with Abe, and he's been around ever since, so I think I'll keep him. He's older than Peter Craig, but somewhat naive and ingenuous, like Peter Parker in the Superman stories.
2 When I first saw "Sea Ghost", as far as I knew, Abe WAS Gus's birth father, although I appreciated at first glance that Captain Crane's handsome face was a darn sight better than Abe's ugly mug (with apologies to Don Francks, who played Abe Pike). I use my discretion as the storyteller to retain or omit information, for the sake of the interview, and it was in mine own interests not to mention Gus's parentage any further at present.
3 Remember friends, in the chronological order of things, we do not yet know the end from the beginning. All we've seen in "Sea Ghost" is Eliza's grave. I hope to address the matter further in a future interview.
4 A poignard is a slim, elegant weapon, rather like a stiletto, easily concealed someplace inconspicuous, like a boot. The only reason I know about such weaponry is due to many years of personal theatre experience; A character in a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta attacks another character with a poignard. In reality, it's much too elegant a weapon for the likes of Abe Pike, but I liked the sound of it, and decided to use it, so there!
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