Daisy: Good morning everyone; welcome back to the studio. Our guest this morning is a well-known public figure in Avonlea, a greatly respected school-teacher, published author, and personal mentor to Gus Pike, Miss Henrietta Euphemia King.
HK: "Miss Hetty King" will do, thank you. There's no need to overstate the obvious. And you'd be well advised to sit up straight in your seat, young lady. Lounging about may do well enough for idlers and slackers, but there's no excuse for it here.
Daisy (straightening up): Yes, Miss King. Now, I'd like to begin by asking you to recall your first meeting with Gus Pike, at the cannery.
HK (reminiscing): Ah, yes, Gus. I knew right away he didn't belong at the cannery; there was something in the boy, I could see it in his eyes. An innate intelligence, a curiosity and desire to learn, despite the lack of a proper upbringing. Yes, I recognized it, and I determined to give the boy what he needed; a good education, decent people to associate with, and the opportunity to better himself and open the door to a much brighter future.
Daisy: But there were a few "obstacles" along the way, were there not, Miss King?
HK: Oh, my, YES! That disgusting pipe he brought to school on the first day; I quickly set him to the right about on THAT! His clothing was in a deplorable state, that horrific odor of fish; and his manners! No sense of propriety, vulgar talk of women and (pausing delicately) ...public facilities. No, my girl, I had my work cut out for me with that one, but I knew my Christian duty to the boy, and I proceeded, despite the enormous gaps in his character.
Daisy: Well, Miss King, I'd say a good portion of his character was already well-formed; it's true he had a lot of "hard knocks" along the way, but he was a gentleman from the beginning. What he lacked, he wanted to acquire, and you, Miss King, were a tremendous influence in his young life.
HK: Well, the boy needed help, that much was clear, and I could see he wanted to be a proper gentleman. He had common sense too; honest and reliable, not the sort to give way to foolish notions and ideas.
Daisy (pointedly): Except, perhaps, Miss King, when it came to your theories on his fiddle.
HK (a bit stiffly): I believe I made myself clear on that particlar issue. I apologized personally to Gus; far be it from me to avoid the responsibility of righting a wrong.
Daisy: Well, it's quite alright, you know. Everyone is wrong sometimes--even you, Miss King.
HK: Seldom, Miss Morris, very seldom.
(Several beats.)
Daisy: Let's move on, shall we, and discuss the ending of the episode, Miss King, where Gus publicly acknowledges the help you've given him, and pays tribute to you. It's what we refer to as a "tear-jerker".
HK (fondly): Yes, oh my yes, I remember it so well. He had found a decent set of clothes somewhere, and stood there as stiffly and awkwardly as though he were about to meet his Maker. The boy was still appallingly unschooled in proper etiquette, but when he played his fiddle for me, well,... (A pause as Hetty produces a handkerchief out of her pocket.) Pardon me, Miss Morris; a cinder in my eye...
(Another pause...)
Daisy (quietly): I...understand, Miss King. And please, won't you call me Daisy?
HK (indignant): Indeed I will not! Your generation is entirely too forward, Miss Morris. After all, a woman of your age...
Daisy (embarrassed): My age is not so TERRIBLY advanced, Miss King, and I enjoy establishing a friendly relationship with my guests. However, I'm perfectly willing to keep the formal appellation, if you prefer it.
HK: I most certainly do.
Daisy: Very well. We have a few minutes left on the air, so I'd like to mention someone who has worked with you very closely over the years--Jackie Burroughs. She has had an impressive professional career, and with her talent has made a remarkable contribution to the arts in Canada.
HK: Hmmph!
Daisy: I...beg your pardon, Miss King, is anything the matter?
HK (sniffing distastefully): Oh, I grant you Ms. Burroughs is quite an extroardinary female, and well enough in her own way, but ACTORS, Miss Morris, are well known as being a particularly despicable and degenerate lot.
Daisy (a bit flustered): Well now, Miss King, I...wouldn't go that far. I've known a few myself, and I assure you that a number of them are actually quite respectable people. In addition to Avonlea, Ms. Burroughs has appeared in Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City which has received--
HK (interrupting): Rubbish, absolute rubbish! The most sordid, debauched!.... (She recovers herself.) I had no idea San Francisco was such a den of VICE and iniquity.
Daisy (firmly): WHICH has received much critical acclaim, Miss King, despite what one's personal views on the subject may be. And... as it happens, I'm rather fond of San Francisco, "trash" and all. In fact, it's quite my favorite city.
HK: Well, you won't find that sort of thing in the provinces, I can assure you! Orderly, clean, efficient, industrious cities and their inhabitants, virtues inherited from our Scots/English forbearers, Miss Morris, who behaved themselves and were too busy working at honest labour to fall into iniquity, or forment rebellion and sedition! You..."Yankees", Miss Morris, would do well to emulate such deportment for yourselves.
(A pause, then...)
Daisy: I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today. My guest this morning has been the redoubtable Miss Hetty King. Miss King, it's been a pleasure to have you here in the studio with us. (Then, smiling...) As always, it has been....an education.
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